1. Mind Map!

   2. Just Do It!

  3.Structure

Para 1: An introduction to what I love about my subject. 
Your intro should grab the attention of the reader- the admissions officer will read thousands, make yours stands out from the off. Go into where your interest in your subject came from - in my case, looking at my Granddad’s past as a fighter in D-Day, started my interest in WW2.

There are many types of Grief that you may experience in your life: anticipatory grief, distorted grief, exaggerated grief, masked grief... [source]

This post isn't about that.

On the 14th September 2018 my Grandad died. He had been ill all summer, and that week he just took a downwards turn. In the days that followed I witnessed a few of the ways people express their grief, and I feel like it is understanding these expressions of loss that is important. For if you don't understand how the people around you experience loss, how can you fully empathise, understand and support them? Indeed, you may even mistake their expression of grief as nonchalance. Of course this is not a scientific study, but simply observations of those around me in the past few weeks and in the past, but I thought it was worth writing about nonetheless.

The Tearful

The most obvious form of grief, this is the type of grief we expect to see in others when we hear that they have experienced loss. It is 'easier' to empathise with them and understand them because their grief is so visual. This can last weeks or years, but it is important to not express exasperation should this last a long time or simple appear a while after the loss occurred - everyone reacts differently, and sometimes it takes a while for the event to fully hit them. In either case, patience is a virtue.

The Do-er

This seems to be a common trait in my family. As soon as my Grandad died, it was all hands on deck to sort out finances; help my Grandma adjust to her new life living alone for the first time; and work out the funeral. Whilst it may seem like the person has skipped grieving, they may become tearful later on, whether around others or alone, so it's important to make sure that they know that you are there for them when it finally hits and they have nothing left to distract them.

The 'Non-Carer'

To be honest, it is this hidden griever that inspired me to write this post. This person will act as if nothing has happened. Whether it hasn't sunk in yet, they don't want to think about it or they just want things to go back to normal, whilst they might act nonchalant about the whole thing, they are likely mourning, or trying to convince themselves to be a more outward mourner, just struggling to do so. Make sure that this person knows it's ok to mourn openly if they want, but equally don't be so quick to judge that they simply do not care - this is unlikely to be the case, they just don't want to display it with the world.


I was unsure about publishing this post. For one, it felt like I was just asking for sympathy and attention by talking about my Grandad, and the whole post feels a little matter of fact. But I suppose I am a bit of a 'Non-Carer' griever. I remember the day after his death I didn't want to talk about it after a couple of hours, and whilst I cried that night, most of the day I wished for things to just go back to how they were, and although I still feel like I should be more emotive than I am and feel awful for how I don't feel like grieving when I should be, the truth is that that is how I process things (or don't...). I've always felt a disconnect from bereavement, as if they don't sink in, and put pressure on myself to make sure I do cry at the right time, because I feel I should, sometimes more than because I actually want to. I almost grieve beforehand, when it's known they might die, and when it's a shock I resist it to look strong at the time and then never let it out or sink in. But know that you don't have to cry to grieve, everyone grieves in their own way.

So I suppose the point of this piece has been found (at 1:01am...): to comfort those that worry they aren't mourning correctly, and help you to be more sympathetic to each type of mourner. Whether their grief is visible or not, everyone needs a little comfort in times like these...

If you are going through loss at the moment, know that in time it will get easier, and that there is always someone to talk things through with if you need to. But more importantly, that just because you don't mourn how you feel you should, doesn't mean you should change (though of course do seek help if you feel you need it to get through this tough period).


Love,

June xx

Oh heyyyyyyyyy! Long time no see (if we're not counting last weeks post 🙈).

How are we all? Good I hope 😊 Sorry about being so MIA these past few months (on the blog) and weeks (on Instagram). All I can say is that life happened and I got very tired and very busy! However, with my final year of uni (no you're in denial!) just around the corner, I thought I should bring you up to speed on what's been going on in my life, and what the coming year is bringing.


So where to begin?

For the majority of my summer I was a working girl! I know! I had an actual, proper, adult job (well internship) which meant waking up between 5:30 and 6am and catching an hour long train to work. I was working for a marketing agency and learnt so so much. I will do a proper post about my internship experience, but it was such a great, though exhausting, way to spend my summer and gave me a lot to think about in regards to what the heck I'm doing once I graduate...

After my internship I completed a small amount of work experience, working in the heritage sector in an events department. That too was a lot of fun, and included spending my days coming up with crafts for upcoming events and then helping out at them.

Yes, both of these jobs were hard, and no I am yet to have a holiday (currently looking at a December trip to Cologne to see the Christmas Markets, so look out for posts on that in a few months time!), but I would totally encourage all second years (and first years if you're keen) to look into using your summer to complete an internship or work experience, whether it's to try out a job you want to do once you graduate, or simply to make your CV look incredible. Make your summer count! (Look early so you don't miss deadlines!)



Of course, all this work has meant that I am well and truly drained at the moment. I am lacking creativity and inspiration for Instagram,  and haven't really had a moment to dedicate time to writing for this blog (all my writing energy was used at work, writing for other companies 😂). All I can think about at the moment is how much I really need to catch up on sleep right now, let alone what make up looks I could create and photograph to build my online presence. Needless to say, many ideas I had this summer got cut due to time restraints (on top of work, I was travelling most weekends).


So where does this leave me for the coming year?

I'm about to go into the final year of my history degree, whilst trying to work out where I want to be in a year. I am currently looking at graduate schemes, jobs and masters programmes, which could take me in the marketing or events industry, have me learning how to design websites or working for the NHS (name a more varied selection of life plans, I'll wait 😂).

In regards to this blog, don't worry, I'm not planning on going anywhere! I have planned every blog post for the coming year, and blocked out my week (keep and eye out for a Uni organisation post) to ensure that I, hopefully, have time to write consistently this year. Expect every post I have ever wanted to write about University life (including posts I wrote when I was still applying and never published!!), as well as the odd bit of beauty, random content, and advice from someone who's in no position to be giving advice (as usual...).  When it comes to Instagram, who knows if I'll be as consistent as I was for a lot of this summer. I would love to, but taking photographs is a timely process and due to me keeping the Uni I'm at a secret, I am limited in what I can take pictures of. I'm not leaving Instagram, I love the little community we've built and taking images for it, just expect it to be a little more sporadic for now.

So that should bring us back up to date. Congrats for getting through this ramble of nothingness. Basically, despite being exhausted and preparing to be consumed by my dissertation in the coming months, I'm not going anywhere! So prepare yourself for less sporadic blog posts, and a more sporadic Instagram feed 😇

Til next week (if everything goes to plan 😶)

June xx

P.S. I also dyed my hair for the first time, but if you can actually tell a difference then you're a genius and get a gold star 😆

Taken on the day of dying. A week later, and we're pretty much back to my weird mousy-brown-but-sort-of-blonde colour.  28 washes my hat 😂

I'm not going to lie, Fresher's Week terrified me above everything else as far as uni was concerned. Not making friends, not exams, not the work load, but the thought of getting through a week renowned for being focussed around partying, pub crawls and drinking.

For those of you that have read my blog and browsed my Instagram for a while, then you will know that I don't drink. If you want to read about my general experience living the sober life whilst being a student, then click here to read my First Year and Second Year reviews. However, for those of you that are new, lets catch you up:


I think alcohol is grim, apart from a very select few, and would rather have a glass of water than be stressing about hangovers and the like that might come for me if I drink copious amounts of bubbly.

Therefore, is it really any surprise that Fresher's Week shot terror into my heart?

If you are worried about Fresher's Week as a non-drinker or non-clubber, whether you are part way through it and hiding in your room from pre-drinks, or questioning going to uni at all due to it's drunk reputation, I am here to calm your nerves and get you through it. After all, I don't drink and am about to start my final year (!) and don't want to leave - it can be done.

What I will start by saying is that Fresher's Week is only one week and partying in the evenings is only a very small part of it. You have welcome lectures, library tours, your department may organise events (for instance, my department held a quiz) and you will spend most of your time working out inventive ways to tell people your name, where you're from and what you study. The likelihood is that your flat (i.e. the first people you will meet) will not be going out every night (and if so, they're mad!). This brings me onto my first piece of advice:



Get To Know Your Flatmates away from the evening's antics

Take a door stop with you so people know you have arrived and can say hi when you first move in. Take food to pass round as an ice breaker if you want (homemade biscuits or cake never go amiss). Chat to them in the kitchen during the day and over dinner. Suggest you explore the city together (which my flatmate did and it was the best thing ever!), collect your student IDs together, or grab free pizza from fresher's fair. If they are pre-drinking in the evening don't run away, just sit in a corner and laugh at their worsening state of drunkenness. Join in as much as you can. I know I've sat and watched before, laughing along whilst everyone else gets smashed. As long as you are strong and say no to offers of alcohol, people will let you be after a while. Have a cup of water in your hand so people can't hand you those infamous red cups. And if it all gets too much, just leave - there's no pressure to stay in the room longer than you want.

By getting to know your flatmates, you stop yourself becoming isolated from your flat, and it makes it easier to suggest doing something non-alcohol related on evenings they aren't going out. Maybe suggest a few of you watch a movie and order pizza. Maybe you could play cards or a board game one evening (I know my cards and monopoly board got well used during the year).

The university should have some non-alcohol related activities going on (especially now us sober students are more prevalent in student culture), so maybe suggest going to a comedy night or bar quiz.

If anything, by being sociable during the day, it makes the evenings when you don't join in as much feel less lonely because you are still interacting with people. Being the only non-drinker can feel isolating, so you do have to make an effort to take opportunities to stop yourself going to default isolation mode as this will only make the beginning of your university career lonely and miserable. But equally if you just want to curl up by yourself with a book or a movie in the evening that's fine - do as much as you feel comfortable with, just don't cut yourself off from everyone for the whole week.

And if you are really struggling you can always talk to your accommodation's pastoral care point-of-contact that you should be made aware of when you first arrive.

Look at little sober me, partying at Fresher's Ball!

But what if you are open to partying, just want to go sober? 

This is 100% an option. Never say never to clubbing sober, even if you're not sure. If you are comfortable with the people you're going with and the music is to your taste (pop cheese here I come!), then it makes the experience a lot easier. It's cheaper too cause water is free from the bar so you only have to pay the entrance fee! I have had some fab nights out completely sober, collecting embarrassing stories to use against my friends which they will no doubt forget. As long as the people you're going with know you won't drink and so won't pressure you into drinking, then go for it! Copy someone else's moves whilst you get comfortable, sit out when you need you sit out, and keep hydrated cause oh my gosh those places are hot and crowded! You never know, you might meet other sober partiers too - I know I've met some. Of course, if you don't like it or want to leave early then that is perfectly fine too - you are not obliged to be the sober responsible adult getting everyone else home safe. Just be sure to grab a taxi if it's late and get home safe.



Facebook is your best friend

If you are really worried about not drinking before you get to uni, go onto your University's Freshers Facebook pages and put up a post asking if there are other non-drinkers about. I asked to be added to a sober student group chat myself, and they all organised to meet up during the week for non-drinking activities. Whilst I personally never went as I was ridiculously lucky to be in a flat which weren't huge partiers or drinkers (see we exist in higher numbers than you'd have thought!), I'm sure that group chat and what they organised would have been of great comfort to the people that did need it.

Fun fact: I happen to know that a non-drinking society was formed in this way, so you never know what might happen if you put yourself out there and make plans before you get to Uni!




At the end of the day, Fresher's is not forever. Even if you end up getting through it by having movie nights every night (and make them known to your flat as someone might join you!), the nine days will fly by and before you know it you'll be wishing for the days of no deadlines and hanging with your new friends to return. If you do find yourself struggling with your flat's drinking and partying, whether it be during fresher's or the rest of the year, don't feel afraid to ask for help from your accommodation's pastoral care team or even to ask to move. One friend of mine hated her flat in first year so moved - it was one of the best decisions she made in her first term.

Finally, remember the people you meet in your first week are not the only people you will meet in uni. Attend the societies you want in later weeks and you are sure to meet people similar to you before you know it. If you are truly afraid, arrange to go home after 2 weeks of uni so you have something to aim for. I know that this really helped me get through my first few days - and I ended up not wanting to leave when the 2 weeks were up!


Good luck on your sober fresher's journey. It is more than possible, and before you know it you'll be an old third year like me begging not to leave!


Love,

June xx

Now I don't know about you, but Priyanka Chopra absolutely won the wedding guest award for best make up at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's wedding last month. As soon as I saw the pictures of her on Pati Dubroff's Instagram I knew I HAD to recreate it! Patti has been super helpful by even uploading a picture of the Chanel products she used, making it so much easier to recreate this for you with what I had to hand (see below).

💜Purple Reign💜 #priyankachopra @welovecoco #Workingwithchanel #WeLoveCoco #makeupbypati

A post shared by pati dubroff (@patidubroff) on May 19, 2018 at 2:57am PDT

💜💜💜 spring fresh #priyankachopra @welovecoco #Workingwithchanel #WeLoveCoco #makeupbypati 💜💜💜

A post shared by pati dubroff (@patidubroff) on May 19, 2018 at 3:08am PDT

I mean just ugh, how stunning. I must admit I'm now very much obsessed with Priyanka and am planning on also doing her evening makeup as well (watch this space).

But anyways, here is how I created this simple yet stunning makeup look:





To begin, I applied an eye primer over the entire lid, before placing a white pencil eyeliner over the top (a white base increases the intensity of the colours you apply on top). In a couple of the pictures, her lower waterline looks quite light, so I added a sheer amount of the eyeliner in the outerhalf of my water line to brighten my eyes.




Then I applied a pink shade over the entire lid with a fluffy blending brush.




Next, I applied a dark purple into the outer v of the eye (literally drawing a '<' shape along the outer part of the lashes and up into the outer part of the crease). I then applied more product in the outer corner to build up intensity, making sure to blend out into the pink shade.


To finish, I added a shimmery white eyeshadow onto the inner colour of the eye, bringing it in along the lash line to the centre (which gives a beautiful effect I will use again in the future!). I then applied a little mascara (my eye lash curlers needed cleaning...). Priyanka's lashes were very natural - no volumising effects or lashes in sight. All the pictures have her eyes looking down so I can't tell if anything was applied to the bottom lash line, but it looks nice and fresh without.

A couple of notes about the rest of the look-

Her face was quite matte, so stay away from the highlighters (I know, that's a terrible thing to say!), and Pati went quite heavy on the blush to really make a statement with the look (with no bronzer in sight either).

For the lips, I had to mix all the shades to get the best match as my hot pink was not a good look on it's own - from the pictures, I would say aim for a dusty, almost lilacy bright pink colour (Paty in fact used two shades, with the brighter one on the centre by the looks of it).

Keep scrolling for the products I used...

For my fellow glasses wearers 😊

Products Used:

If you recreate this look at any summer events you have planned, be sure to tag me @rougebyjunekonrad on Instagram!

June xx

And just like that I'm ⅔ of my way through my university degree. They're right you know, when they say that the step up between first and second year is HUGE! The essays are longer, the required reading is bigger, marking harsher, and to top it all off, you're time is now split between not only your work but your well established extra-curriculum stuff too (well in my case anyway). The lesson of this year, as you will see, is to take every opportunity you can!

A little bit of background information before we get started: I am a second year ancient history and history student at a UK university (if you know where I go, please don't share it as I'm keeping it private).

But enough of me and my random filler intro's, here's a reflection on some of the key themes of the year...

Societies

I really threw myself into society life this year. From being secretary of Ballroom and teaching ballet for a year, I have had some amazing experiences. I mean I competed in a ballroom competition at Blackpool for goodness sake! And on top of that, I choreographed my first ever dance piece for a show in March which, although still needed some polishing off (I mean trying to teach a 3 minute dance piece in 10 weeks to 19 people is no mean feat), I am immensely proud of.

Off to recruit people at Fresher's Fayre

Blackpool Winter Gardens 😍

Living my choreographer dreams and wishing I could be Matthew Bourne!

But to top it all off, I have made some amazing friends this year. One friend at dance in particular started off as a mere acquaintance I taught ballet with in my autumn term, and is now one of my closest friends (and my go to ballet-bud for all the Royal Ballet live screenings, even seeing Giselle at the Royal Opera House with her!).





Dance in my first year was ok, but pretty friendless, but today I am off to a dinner party with a whole group of dance friends I have gained purely from putting myself out there and getting involved! Indeed, I will always say that if you are struggling to make friends at uni, put yourself on the committee of a society. I gained so many friends in ballroom purely because I was someone new people knew and a go-to-for-help in the club- indeed my housemate and I held a party recently, inviting nearly all of the ballroom society because we (both being on committee) have become friends with so many of them - I mean I had two good friends in ballroom last year, and now have 10 at least. If that doesn't encourage you to get involved in university life, I don't know what will!

(But I mean, if that doesn't convince you, at my uni we have a scheme where you get points for getting involved in things and then get rewarded with internships - so basically me getting out of my comfort zone and getting involved got me a job this summer and made my CV look amazing 💁!)

Alcohol

Aha. So if you read last year's university reflection post, then you would know that I am a tee-total student. Well this year I slipped a bit. I didn't want to be bound to this label, and explored alcohol ever so slightly - mainly sharing bottles of Prosecco with my friend at the occasional house party I attended this year (June from 2 years ago would not believe the wild things I've got up to this year 😂). I also tried a Mojito which was wonderful. I mean, I say I went wild, I didn't get drunk and fled at the first feeling of getting tipsy, downing all the water I could- I went wild for me!

Mojito or Lime & Lemonade? There's only one way to find out... Fiiiight!

Look at me clubbing sober

Therapy

The only accessory I wore everyday - red 'gloves'...