Now before we get started, this isn't me moaning that I'm not attending Cambridge or Oxford University. Similarly, this is not me trying to dissuade people from going to either uni. They are the top universities in the country, and some of the best in the world, so if you have the ability, why shouldn't you take on the challenge?

No, this is me explaining how I've changed my opinion of it over the years. (It also happens to be a cute case study in discovering what is (not) important when choosing a university to attend - who'd have thought it?!)

This may be the most pointless thing I have ever posted on here, but, alas, I promised it in my November 2018 edition of Dissertation Diaries, so need to get it up (albeit the day before the video goes live).




You could say I have experienced a bit of a tumultuous love affair with Cambridge. I say Cambridge, because, whilst Oxford intrigued me, Cambridge, for a multitude of reasons you will soon discover, truly stole my heart.

First and foremost, it was familiar. 

I visited Cambridge at the tender age of 14, when I had to interview tourists there for my GCSE Geography coursework. Besides terrorising the elderly by asking them about how far they'd travelled to see King's College, a question 3 other groups had already asked them, I fell in love with the old buildings, how easy it was to navigate, the history of the place, the fudge shop (Fudge Kitchen is an actual gem!) - let's just say I wanted to live there.


Fast forward a year and my school took some 'gifted and talented' (no you just rolled your eyes in disgust) students to explore Cambridge University. Following a talk in a cute lecture theatre, we got taken to look at some accommodation (I'm pretty certain it was Trinity, though my Cambridge friend was so shocked that I'd seen inside there that I'm starting to doubt myself). Basically, I had started to get to know Cambridge pretty well by this point, and so the romanticism began.

Enter Sixth Form. 

Near the end of year 12 I attended History and Classics taster days. Let's just say that I really. didn't. enjoy them. The lectures, besides an ancient philosophy one about turtles holding up the Earth or something, were pretty dull and it was massively off-putting. The main issue of course was that the lectures weren't on topics that I found interesting, and I was yet to discover that lectures are generally boring, wether you like the topic or not (or that might just be me, I dunno...).

One of the main reasons I thought about applying to Cambridge, and didn't give up on it despite this 'traumatic experience', was the familiarity of the place. I had visited it, I knew the city, I knew a little about a college. This fact calmed my anxious mind.





I still looked into Cambridge after this, rationalising that I might not even have those lecturers, and wouldn't take those courses anyway. However, upon looking into the course, I reluctantly decided against it. The majority of it was chosen for you, there were many exams, and you had to do Latin for a year if I chose to study Classics (which even the prospect of being taught by Mary Beard could not make look appealing - though, looking back at the end of my degree, I wouldn't have minded doing it).


However, the uni snob in me (error number 3) wouldn't let go of the Oxbridge dream just yet, and decided to look into Oxford. I knew the city and one of the colleges from a 3 day choir course I did there once, but I never got my head around the city and so have never warmed to it as much (as you can see, I like familiar things 😇). That being said the course was much better, covering all areas of history, including ancient. However, there was an entry exam, and (here's the killer) my AS grades were not good enough anyway (spoiler alert - neither would my A2 levels).

Here endeth my first encounter with Oxbridge. 

What I will now happily admit to, is that I have a very romanticised, opening-scenes-of-The-Theory-Of-Everything, view of Oxbridge. It's all cool gowns, exclusive and alluring culture, fancy dinners, and pretty buildings. Despite knowing I couldn't do my undergrad there, by the end of sixth form I had already discovered the medical and science history masters programmes that both universities offered. The dream just would not die!


Anywho, moving on to university, and some point in first or second year I discovered Cambridge's Health, Medicine and Society Master's degree which looks like a DREAM! Soon I found myself re-romanticising the whole Cambridge experience, and later discovered the NHS grad scheme which, through the most tenuous link imaginable, I used as a way to justify doing a £14,000 postgraduate course I really didn't need.


This brings us up to the beginning of third year. 


I remember looking through all the different colleges in order to work out which ones to look around at the post-grad open day, and feeling so out of place that I put off booking it til a week before, by which time, only one of the three slots were open, with only 7 colleges to choose from.



By this point, I'd had the reality check that made me face what I'd be hiding from. 

Having chatted to my Academic Advisor about the application and funding process; being told that doing a dissertation on beauty was not going to help a medical history masters application; and being asked if the reason I wanted to go had anything to do with it being Cambridge (which I sheepishly avoided answering 'yes' to),  I accepted what I knew all along - I was doing Cambridge for all the wrong reasons. If I was not willing to change my dissertation topic to get in, and the main reason I wanted to go was because of the allure of Cambridge and wanting to experience it, then £14,000+ was a waste of my money and extra debt I did not need (especially when I would qualify for basically no funding). I mean the relief I felt when my advisor vaguely understood the tenuous NHS link, only emphasises the fact that I knew how bad the excuse was, and desperately wanted people to believe me in order to persuade myself.

On to the Open Day. 

By this point I was well and truly over Cambridge (well, I still have hope, but y'know). I stayed with a friend who attends there, and remember feeling like this just was not the place for me, as she described her course and how many essays she had to do; how early her mornings were; how you can only do one society; and thinking how different the experience was to my university undergrad experience - and not in a good way. When walking around Cambridge this time, I discovered it had lost much of it's rose-tint, and I remember the conflict I felt with Murray-Edwards: a college I'd love to attend if only it was old and historic (and even in older colleges, you normally live in newer, separate accommodation as a post-grad). I have such great priorities.

It's time to accept that the best time to have done the whole Cambridge thing was as an undergrad. That the main reason for me wanting to attend Cambridge is to experience the unique culture of being a student there and to say I've lived in one of the cool ye olde colleges like Kings. To get access beyond the gates. The non-tourist access.

Basically all the wrong reasons. 

Yes, the course looks amazing (a good reason to go), but with no way to currently justify it and as someone in desperate need of a break from academia, the dream, if ever achieved, will have to be put on hold for a later, self-funded, convincingly justified, date.



So, what was the point in analysing my life story for you all? 

Well, apart from never romanticise anything if you want to avoid disappointment, I want to show you that Oxbridge is not the be-all and end-all. If it isn't right for you, that does not matter. I found the perfect university for me, with a great course and a location that I got to know and love: and it isn't even Russell Group! But I also want you to learn from this. Use this as a guide to how not to go about choosing a university and warning signs to look out for.


I hope this post was in some-way helpful.

I'll get back on to something with a bit more point soon, I just needed to get these thoughts off my mind first.

June xx

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I am a modest person. And you know I'm modest cause I hate saying I'm modest in case it makes me look arrogant. But despite my modest disposition, the one thing I will never shy away from owning is the beauty of my student house. My university house is blooming fab and I will forever be grateful for stumbling upon it, cause most student digs are a 6/10 at best. Therefore, I feel like I am a pretty good person to be giving advice when it comes to finding a great house to live in once you leave your university accommodation. Below you will find my Top 10 tips regarding how to find the best student houses near your university!

1- Gather friends... early!

If there is one piece of advice I can give you about house hunting, it's this: start thinking about it early. Now I know this is hard because you are still finding your bearings and making friends, but begin bringing it up in conversations around early November (which means I'm a bit late to the game on this one, I know, don't hate me!). Think about which friends you've made so far that you could see yourself living with for the next year, and see if they would be up for it too. Don't worry if you haven't got enough friends to fill a house, start with a couple and they might have some friends to bring to the house as well!

Example Uno: 
My housing situation was a very strange one. My whole flat began discussing sticking together in one big house, but let me tell you, there are very few 8 room houses around, and honestly, a house that big will probably be quite claustrophobic. I live in a house of 4 and it is honestly the perfect number (but that's a preference thing). Anyway, my flat then split into separate friendship groups, but I was only friends with a couple of people, so between us we started asking around to find friends who could move in with us. This left us with a group of 7, which was too big. Therefore, we split into two, going into groups of people who knew each other best, and went from there. It was very stressful, but we got there in the end! Equally on that note, this year the girl who was moving in had to drop out last minute due to medical issues. After a panicked search on Facebook groups, we eventually found a fourth housemate - again, it might seem like it will never work out, but these things have a habit of getting there in the end 😊

But back to the point of this section. SEARCH EARLY! Houses will go fast, so try and aim to have it sorted by December. Not only does this mean you can forget about it for the year, but it means you will have a larger range of houses to look at, so you are more likely to find one you love, instead of one that is falling down and covered in damp.

2 - Research

Have a group chat of your chosen housemates so you have somewhere to send all the different houses you find. A quick Google search will find you local student housing agencies, or estate agents that advertise student properties for landlords.

Try and have group meetings to work out what you are looking for in a house: from price; to number of bathrooms; to amenities (although this will come as you look at houses); to amount of storage; and start booking all your house viewings. To save time, try and dedicate a day to just house viewings, and also be open to being shown other properties by an agency (that's how I found my house!).

As with Open Days, be sure to do lots of research about the house before you go. This means you can ask questions that you can't find out anywhere else, so as to make the most of your viewing.

Don't completely judge the images of the house, as they may be old or not fully represent the house: whilst the room sizes won't change, the actual decor of individual rooms will, once you've moved in and made it a home. I know I dismissed my house online because the images of the room didn't make it look appealing. That being said, one sure-fire way I found to judge a house was by it's...

3- ...Kitchen!

You may be laughing and thinking I'm completely crazy, but honestly I feel like a kitchen will tell you a lot about a house. My beauty of a house had the best kitchen we looked at, so if that doesn't convince you of this handy tip, I don't know what will! But in all seriousness, a kitchen will tell you the general standard of the house, how much the landlord has invested into it as a whole, and how well they take care of it. A newish kitchen, tells you they take care of it, an old kitchen tells you they might not. Obviously this might be proven wrong when you view the house, but it's a good way to rate them online.

4 - Think about the Area

One thing to think about when looking into houses is where they are located. Are they central, far from campus, close to campus (distance from campus may affect the price). Is the area safe or a bit dodgy (something you may only get a sense of when you visit)? What are transport links like (i.e. is a bus stop near by if you're going to have to use it a lot)? If you know the answers to these questions before you look, this will help you reduce your area of search so you have less houses to trawl through.

5 - University Accreditation

Many universities now offer accreditation systems when it comes to student housing. Mine does, and it gave us peace of mind when we chose the agency we're with, that the university approved of them. This may also be where houses listed by independent landlords, and approved by the uni are listed, so you may find a gem that isn't listed elsewhere!

Your university may also offer advice regarding contracts, organising rent etc, so be sure to find out what's on offer to help you in your house renting journey. This is most likely your first time doing this, so don't be afraid to ask for help to be sure you get it right.

This brings me nicely onto my next point...

6- READ THE CONTRACT PROPERLY

Make sure you aren't going to be pulled into any dodgy deals if things go wrong, such as your guarantor has to pay for anyone who cannot pay their rent, not just you. Yes it may be in complex jargon, so be sure to ask questions about anything you are unsure of at the contract signing. Don't be afraid to say no if you are unsure about the contract, it's better to turn away from the house now than lose thousands of pounds to the small print.

7 - Ratings System

This was something my housemate had us do and it was amazing! At the end of every house viewing, we would mark the house out of ten. This way we could see later on which one we had all thought was the best - you will see many houses, and forget what they were like, so this is a great way keep note of what you thought of them.

8 - Ask around

If you have friends in upper years, such as from societies, ask where are good areas to live, and good agencies to go with. You never know, you might be able to grab the house of your third year friend who is about to move out! Local knowledge is key 😉

Equally, if the current tenants are in when you look around, don't be afraid to ask what the landlord is like. You may need to hang back to ask once the person showing you around has moved onto another room, but this way you can find out how good the landlord is at dealing with any issues that arise. You don't want to have a great house, but a landlord that won't fix things for ages (if at all) - this is simply extra stress you do not need on top of your studies!

Equally, if there is no bills package or bills are not included, ask how much they pay in bills to work out the house's extra costs.

9 - Don't be afraid to ask any and all questions: you have to live there for a year!

Leading on from this, ask the person showing you around everything you need to know. From a break down of the costs and the procedure for if things go wrong, to if you have a gardener (and if not, do you get a lawnmower - cause I know people who don't have either) and what type of heating you have, don't be afraid to ask every and every question under the sun. If you have to organise the bills, find out the energy efficiency rating; if they're included, then ask if there's a limit on the bills package before you have to pay extra, and how many people have had to pay extra in the past, if that's the case. If they don't know, then, unless it's a very technical question, this is a warning sign about the landlord. I know of one agency where the lady showing us around was not very good, and then months later I saw a post warning against using them. Of course, it might have been her first day, but it's something to think about.

10 - Check the little things.

Try all the taps to check the water pressure. How easy is the oven to turn on - is the gas hob easy to ignite? What are the sockets like - old or new? Sit on the sofas and beds of comfort. You will likely be looking around when it's cold - is the house warm (i.e. is the heating good cause there is nothing worse than a cold house. If it's off, ask a current tenant what the heating is like if they are in). Again, you have to live there for a year, so don't feel silly checking for things, or have a more confident friend check if you don't want to. Just make sure to ask permission before you start testing everything out, especially if a tenant is in the room and you want to test their bed.




I hope this guide to finding your perfect student house was helpful. If you have anymore questions about hunting for university housing, then leave them below and I will try and answer them as best as I can.

June xx

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I can't tell a lie: I love an Open Day I do. I visited 7 different universities during my A-Levels, and was so disappointed when my travels around the country came to an end. Add to that three applicant days, a choir audition and, more recently, two postgraduate open days, and you're looking at an open day pro. Along with the fact that I ended up choosing a university that I LOVE, I thought it's only right that I write a guide to open days to help you get the most out of them.

1) Research before you go!

I can't stress this enough - you will get so much more out of an open day if you have researched the University before you go. This is because you will be able to ask questions which you can't find the answers to online or in prospectuses, making travelling there so much more worth it.

Researching beforehand also allows you to plan your day to a tee. This means you know exactly where you are going, what's on, and which accommodation you want to visit, ensuring you don't miss anything you want to see, and you work your way around the university in the most efficient way.

2) Go to all the talks and stands

This ties in to your research, but make use of all the talks and stands available. The stands are great for answering any questions about specific accommodation that you weren't able to visit; qualms about finance; and general queries about your course that the talks didn't answer. Similarly, the talks are such a good introduction to the course you are enquiring about. If you aren't sure which course you want to do, maybe consider going to talks about the different subjects you are interested in, to find out more about them. You don't have to go to an open day with a particular course in mind: in fact, I know of someone who went to a talk on a different subject to the one they were inquiring about and ended up studying that subject instead!

3) Don't judge taster lectures - to an extent...

Talking of talks, some universities will offer taster lectures on their open days, and most will offer them as part of their applicant days. Whilst these are a great insight into university life, and give you a feel for their teaching style, don't judge your whole opinion of the university on them. I know that I did, and looking back I can see that that was a mistake. For one, they can put their most charismatic lecturer on display to make you love the uni, but not all the lecturers there will be charismatic. Equally, the lecture may be boring, but not all you lectures will be boring at uni. One lecturer does not represent the whole course. The main thing is to work out whether you'll be taught by them enough for it to matter, and take it from there :)

4) Take All the Pictures

They are such a good reminder of the day, helping you remember what the campus, facilities and accommodation looked like, when you are reviewing your visits months later. Furthermore, they are great for comparing different unis, as well as for taking pictures of slides when you forget a pen and paper. Talking of which...

5) ...Bring a pen and paper to take notes - you are going to be given so much information!

Seriously, even bring a spare pen - you'll forget most of the information otherwise. Having a pen and paper to hand is also a great way to make notes of questions you want to ask. Oh, and don't forget to bring a bag to take the copious amounts of leaflets you will pick up, home with you.

6) Pick up all the freebies ;) Cause you can never have too many pens!

Nuff said.

7) There is no such thing as a stupid question

You are there to find out about where you could be living for the next three years, and the people from the university are there to help you make your choice by answering questions. Don't risk putting your £9,250 into the wrong uni, by being too scared to ask a question that is not as stupid as you think it is. If you're really worried, ask whoever is with you to ask for you, or email the relevant person after the open day (which goes for things you forget to ask too!).

8) Tour the area, not just the campus - you are gunna live there for three years after all 

After an Open Day, I would nearly always go out for a meal in the city, or at least go for a wander around the town. What you can forget when looking around universities, is that you are not only moving into the university accommodation, but most likely the accommodation in the city too (if you have to move out after first year). You will also be doing things within the town, such as the weekly food shop, clothes shopping, sight-seeing, clubbing etc. Ask yourself whether you can see yourself living in the city. Is it big or small enough for you? Does it provide everything you need, and is it easy to get to? What's transport like (including for travelling home)? Is it safe? I know that a 'turn off' for one uni was that the surrounding town had very little to offer, because it was so small.

9) Look at the library! 

You may not like to accept this fact, but the library will become your second home whilst at uni. Therefore, be sure to take a tour around, to see what the facilities are like. How many study spaces do they have (once you stop living on campus you will need a place to study in between class, and smaller libraries will get full fast, leaving you with nowhere to study)? How many books do they have (including online resources such as ebooks and journals)? What other facilities do they offer - group study rooms? Printers - do you have to pay for printing?

You may dismiss the library as a factor in making your university choice, but one campus had a teeny library, which just was not gunna be enough for studying history.

10) Talk to current students more than the lecturers!

They will know the course and uni experience better than anyone. There are normally ambassadors at the relevant course stands; giving campus tours; and giving talks. Whilst they are there to promote the uni, they are the best insight you will have about studying there. Ask them about the societies on offer (which will probably make up a large part of your uni experience, so do find out what sort of things you would like to join!); what the student culture is like; find out about the city and off campus accommodation; the work load; how they've found the student support system (I didn't even think about looking into this side of it, but have ended up needing it, so do find out about this, whether it be medical, counselling or therapy services). Whatever you want to know about university life, they are THE people to ask, even more than the lecturers.




I hope you have found this article useful! University open days are honestly so much fun, and such a good way to find out about the course, the university and the student culture. I know that they have completely turned my opinion of universities on their head, and have stopped me making the wrong decision when it came to firming my offers. Whether it be the size of the library, the city, the student culture, or the size of the hill it's set upon, these are all university 'turn-offs' that I would have never got from a shiny prospectus.

If you have any more questions about university open days, do leave them below and I will try to answer them as best as I can 😄

June xx

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   1. Mind Map!

   2. Just Do It!

  3.Structure

Para 1: An introduction to what I love about my subject. 
Your intro should grab the attention of the reader- the admissions officer will read thousands, make yours stands out from the off. Go into where your interest in your subject came from - in my case, looking at my Granddad’s past as a fighter in D-Day, started my interest in WW2.

There are many types of Grief that you may experience in your life: anticipatory grief, distorted grief, exaggerated grief, masked grief... [source]

This post isn't about that.

On the 14th September 2018 my Grandad died. He had been ill all summer, and that week he just took a downwards turn. In the days that followed I witnessed a few of the ways people express their grief, and I feel like it is understanding these expressions of loss that is important. For if you don't understand how the people around you experience loss, how can you fully empathise, understand and support them? Indeed, you may even mistake their expression of grief as nonchalance. Of course this is not a scientific study, but simply observations of those around me in the past few weeks and in the past, but I thought it was worth writing about nonetheless.

The Tearful

The most obvious form of grief, this is the type of grief we expect to see in others when we hear that they have experienced loss. It is 'easier' to empathise with them and understand them because their grief is so visual. This can last weeks or years, but it is important to not express exasperation should this last a long time or simple appear a while after the loss occurred - everyone reacts differently, and sometimes it takes a while for the event to fully hit them. In either case, patience is a virtue.

The Do-er

This seems to be a common trait in my family. As soon as my Grandad died, it was all hands on deck to sort out finances; help my Grandma adjust to her new life living alone for the first time; and work out the funeral. Whilst it may seem like the person has skipped grieving, they may become tearful later on, whether around others or alone, so it's important to make sure that they know that you are there for them when it finally hits and they have nothing left to distract them.

The 'Non-Carer'

To be honest, it is this hidden griever that inspired me to write this post. This person will act as if nothing has happened. Whether it hasn't sunk in yet, they don't want to think about it or they just want things to go back to normal, whilst they might act nonchalant about the whole thing, they are likely mourning, or trying to convince themselves to be a more outward mourner, just struggling to do so. Make sure that this person knows it's ok to mourn openly if they want, but equally don't be so quick to judge that they simply do not care - this is unlikely to be the case, they just don't want to display it with the world.


I was unsure about publishing this post. For one, it felt like I was just asking for sympathy and attention by talking about my Grandad, and the whole post feels a little matter of fact. But I suppose I am a bit of a 'Non-Carer' griever. I remember the day after his death I didn't want to talk about it after a couple of hours, and whilst I cried that night, most of the day I wished for things to just go back to how they were, and although I still feel like I should be more emotive than I am and feel awful for how I don't feel like grieving when I should be, the truth is that that is how I process things (or don't...). I've always felt a disconnect from bereavement, as if they don't sink in, and put pressure on myself to make sure I do cry at the right time, because I feel I should, sometimes more than because I actually want to. I almost grieve beforehand, when it's known they might die, and when it's a shock I resist it to look strong at the time and then never let it out or sink in. But know that you don't have to cry to grieve, everyone grieves in their own way.

So I suppose the point of this piece has been found (at 1:01am...): to comfort those that worry they aren't mourning correctly, and help you to be more sympathetic to each type of mourner. Whether their grief is visible or not, everyone needs a little comfort in times like these...

If you are going through loss at the moment, know that in time it will get easier, and that there is always someone to talk things through with if you need to. But more importantly, that just because you don't mourn how you feel you should, doesn't mean you should change (though of course do seek help if you feel you need it to get through this tough period).


Love,

June xx

Oh heyyyyyyyyy! Long time no see (if we're not counting last weeks post 🙈).

How are we all? Good I hope 😊 Sorry about being so MIA these past few months (on the blog) and weeks (on Instagram). All I can say is that life happened and I got very tired and very busy! However, with my final year of uni (no you're in denial!) just around the corner, I thought I should bring you up to speed on what's been going on in my life, and what the coming year is bringing.


So where to begin?

For the majority of my summer I was a working girl! I know! I had an actual, proper, adult job (well internship) which meant waking up between 5:30 and 6am and catching an hour long train to work. I was working for a marketing agency and learnt so so much. I will do a proper post about my internship experience, but it was such a great, though exhausting, way to spend my summer and gave me a lot to think about in regards to what the heck I'm doing once I graduate...

After my internship I completed a small amount of work experience, working in the heritage sector in an events department. That too was a lot of fun, and included spending my days coming up with crafts for upcoming events and then helping out at them.

Yes, both of these jobs were hard, and no I am yet to have a holiday (currently looking at a December trip to Cologne to see the Christmas Markets, so look out for posts on that in a few months time!), but I would totally encourage all second years (and first years if you're keen) to look into using your summer to complete an internship or work experience, whether it's to try out a job you want to do once you graduate, or simply to make your CV look incredible. Make your summer count! (Look early so you don't miss deadlines!)



Of course, all this work has meant that I am well and truly drained at the moment. I am lacking creativity and inspiration for Instagram,  and haven't really had a moment to dedicate time to writing for this blog (all my writing energy was used at work, writing for other companies 😂). All I can think about at the moment is how much I really need to catch up on sleep right now, let alone what make up looks I could create and photograph to build my online presence. Needless to say, many ideas I had this summer got cut due to time restraints (on top of work, I was travelling most weekends).


So where does this leave me for the coming year?

I'm about to go into the final year of my history degree, whilst trying to work out where I want to be in a year. I am currently looking at graduate schemes, jobs and masters programmes, which could take me in the marketing or events industry, have me learning how to design websites or working for the NHS (name a more varied selection of life plans, I'll wait 😂).

In regards to this blog, don't worry, I'm not planning on going anywhere! I have planned every blog post for the coming year, and blocked out my week (keep and eye out for a Uni organisation post) to ensure that I, hopefully, have time to write consistently this year. Expect every post I have ever wanted to write about University life (including posts I wrote when I was still applying and never published!!), as well as the odd bit of beauty, random content, and advice from someone who's in no position to be giving advice (as usual...).  When it comes to Instagram, who knows if I'll be as consistent as I was for a lot of this summer. I would love to, but taking photographs is a timely process and due to me keeping the Uni I'm at a secret, I am limited in what I can take pictures of. I'm not leaving Instagram, I love the little community we've built and taking images for it, just expect it to be a little more sporadic for now.

So that should bring us back up to date. Congrats for getting through this ramble of nothingness. Basically, despite being exhausted and preparing to be consumed by my dissertation in the coming months, I'm not going anywhere! So prepare yourself for less sporadic blog posts, and a more sporadic Instagram feed 😇

Til next week (if everything goes to plan 😶)

June xx

P.S. I also dyed my hair for the first time, but if you can actually tell a difference then you're a genius and get a gold star 😆

Taken on the day of dying. A week later, and we're pretty much back to my weird mousy-brown-but-sort-of-blonde colour.  28 washes my hat 😂

I'm not going to lie, Fresher's Week terrified me above everything else as far as uni was concerned. Not making friends, not exams, not the work load, but the thought of getting through a week renowned for being focussed around partying, pub crawls and drinking.

For those of you that have read my blog and browsed my Instagram for a while, then you will know that I don't drink. If you want to read about my general experience living the sober life whilst being a student, then click here to read my First Year and Second Year reviews. However, for those of you that are new, lets catch you up:


I think alcohol is grim, apart from a very select few, and would rather have a glass of water than be stressing about hangovers and the like that might come for me if I drink copious amounts of bubbly.

Therefore, is it really any surprise that Fresher's Week shot terror into my heart?

If you are worried about Fresher's Week as a non-drinker or non-clubber, whether you are part way through it and hiding in your room from pre-drinks, or questioning going to uni at all due to it's drunk reputation, I am here to calm your nerves and get you through it. After all, I don't drink and am about to start my final year (!) and don't want to leave - it can be done.

What I will start by saying is that Fresher's Week is only one week and partying in the evenings is only a very small part of it. You have welcome lectures, library tours, your department may organise events (for instance, my department held a quiz) and you will spend most of your time working out inventive ways to tell people your name, where you're from and what you study. The likelihood is that your flat (i.e. the first people you will meet) will not be going out every night (and if so, they're mad!). This brings me onto my first piece of advice:



Get To Know Your Flatmates away from the evening's antics

Take a door stop with you so people know you have arrived and can say hi when you first move in. Take food to pass round as an ice breaker if you want (homemade biscuits or cake never go amiss). Chat to them in the kitchen during the day and over dinner. Suggest you explore the city together (which my flatmate did and it was the best thing ever!), collect your student IDs together, or grab free pizza from fresher's fair. If they are pre-drinking in the evening don't run away, just sit in a corner and laugh at their worsening state of drunkenness. Join in as much as you can. I know I've sat and watched before, laughing along whilst everyone else gets smashed. As long as you are strong and say no to offers of alcohol, people will let you be after a while. Have a cup of water in your hand so people can't hand you those infamous red cups. And if it all gets too much, just leave - there's no pressure to stay in the room longer than you want.

By getting to know your flatmates, you stop yourself becoming isolated from your flat, and it makes it easier to suggest doing something non-alcohol related on evenings they aren't going out. Maybe suggest a few of you watch a movie and order pizza. Maybe you could play cards or a board game one evening (I know my cards and monopoly board got well used during the year).

The university should have some non-alcohol related activities going on (especially now us sober students are more prevalent in student culture), so maybe suggest going to a comedy night or bar quiz.

If anything, by being sociable during the day, it makes the evenings when you don't join in as much feel less lonely because you are still interacting with people. Being the only non-drinker can feel isolating, so you do have to make an effort to take opportunities to stop yourself going to default isolation mode as this will only make the beginning of your university career lonely and miserable. But equally if you just want to curl up by yourself with a book or a movie in the evening that's fine - do as much as you feel comfortable with, just don't cut yourself off from everyone for the whole week.

And if you are really struggling you can always talk to your accommodation's pastoral care point-of-contact that you should be made aware of when you first arrive.

Look at little sober me, partying at Fresher's Ball!

But what if you are open to partying, just want to go sober? 

This is 100% an option. Never say never to clubbing sober, even if you're not sure. If you are comfortable with the people you're going with and the music is to your taste (pop cheese here I come!), then it makes the experience a lot easier. It's cheaper too cause water is free from the bar so you only have to pay the entrance fee! I have had some fab nights out completely sober, collecting embarrassing stories to use against my friends which they will no doubt forget. As long as the people you're going with know you won't drink and so won't pressure you into drinking, then go for it! Copy someone else's moves whilst you get comfortable, sit out when you need you sit out, and keep hydrated cause oh my gosh those places are hot and crowded! You never know, you might meet other sober partiers too - I know I've met some. Of course, if you don't like it or want to leave early then that is perfectly fine too - you are not obliged to be the sober responsible adult getting everyone else home safe. Just be sure to grab a taxi if it's late and get home safe.



Facebook is your best friend

If you are really worried about not drinking before you get to uni, go onto your University's Freshers Facebook pages and put up a post asking if there are other non-drinkers about. I asked to be added to a sober student group chat myself, and they all organised to meet up during the week for non-drinking activities. Whilst I personally never went as I was ridiculously lucky to be in a flat which weren't huge partiers or drinkers (see we exist in higher numbers than you'd have thought!), I'm sure that group chat and what they organised would have been of great comfort to the people that did need it.

Fun fact: I happen to know that a non-drinking society was formed in this way, so you never know what might happen if you put yourself out there and make plans before you get to Uni!




At the end of the day, Fresher's is not forever. Even if you end up getting through it by having movie nights every night (and make them known to your flat as someone might join you!), the nine days will fly by and before you know it you'll be wishing for the days of no deadlines and hanging with your new friends to return. If you do find yourself struggling with your flat's drinking and partying, whether it be during fresher's or the rest of the year, don't feel afraid to ask for help from your accommodation's pastoral care team or even to ask to move. One friend of mine hated her flat in first year so moved - it was one of the best decisions she made in her first term.

Finally, remember the people you meet in your first week are not the only people you will meet in uni. Attend the societies you want in later weeks and you are sure to meet people similar to you before you know it. If you are truly afraid, arrange to go home after 2 weeks of uni so you have something to aim for. I know that this really helped me get through my first few days - and I ended up not wanting to leave when the 2 weeks were up!


Good luck on your sober fresher's journey. It is more than possible, and before you know it you'll be an old third year like me begging not to leave!


Love,

June xx